Detectives, we are not
by Masked Reflection
Summary: “Why does Koenma keep calling us Spirit Detectives?” Kurama mussed, resting his head on an upturned palm. “It doesn’t make sense. Surely he could have come up with a more suitable name by now.


_I've always wondered this…_

**Disclaimer**: _I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I wish I did, but I don't_

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Title: Detectives, we are not

One-shot

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"Why are we called Spirit Detectives?"

Instantly all motion in the small three-room apartment's living room stopped. Four sets of unblinking eyes focused intently on the surprised carrot-top.

This would be funny if the others didn't look all serious. Yuusuke had stopped mid-tug on Botan's pony-tail and had a rather amusing expression of irritation, surprise and thoughtfulness on his face. The blue-haired ferry girl was winding up to smack said Toushin in the head with a rather study looking oar and was balanced rather precariously on one foot. The ever-collected Kurama was peaking out at Kuwabara from behind raised arms. He had been in Botan's previous line of fire before Kuwabara's question had distracted her from her rampage. And Hiei was crouched on the headrest of the battered couch, paused in the middle of polishing his kantana.

Kuwabara smiled nervously and fiddled with the pen that he had been using to fill out the most recent report that needed to be turned in to Koenma, and the reason that all of them had gathered in Yuusuke's small apartment.

"What d'ya mean?" The young Toushin asked, accidentally releasing the ferry girl to scratch the back of his head. Before he could catch his mistake the girl hopped out of reach and lowered her oar, much to the relief of Kurama. "Koenma named us that."

"Well, yeah, but we're not really very…detective-y."

"De-"

"Hmm…I never really thought of that," Kurama said as he cut off both Yuusuke and the argument that was sure to start if the brunet continued to speak. "We really do not meet the definition of detectives. We are more like…soldiers."

Hiei snorted "More like weapons."

"That's for sure," Yuusuke said rolling his eyes and collapsing back onto the couch, earning himself a glare from the black-haired yokai. "At least soldiers get _paid_."

"Are you _still_ hung up about that?" The blue-haired girl asked in exasperation. "You don't need to get paid. You practically rule a country! You certainly aren't short on money."

"Yeah, but-"

"Why _does_ Koenma keep calling us Spirit Detectives?" Kurama mussed, resting his head on an up-turned palm. "It doesn't make sense. Surely he could have come up with a better, more suitable name by now."

"Hey! Spirit Detectives are a long tradition in Reikai! They have always been called by that name!"

"Yeah, but we are not detectives."

Botan threw up her hands in exasperation "Would you prefer to be called 'Koenma's Wrecking Crew'? Or maybe 'The HumanTime-bombs?"

"I'm _not_ a human!" Hiei snarled.

"Yes," Kurama smiled "It would have to be the 'Human Time-bomb and his Demon Buddies'."

"That little twerp? My _buddy_! No way!"

"I no one's _buddy_, let alone that oaf of a human's!"

"What did you call me you-!"

"Guys!" Yuusuke cut in "We are not calling ourselves that! If anything it should be 'Yuusuke and his Demon Buddies'."

"I am **_not_**-!"

"Hey! What about me?"

"I suppose we can add 'and the meat-shield, Kuwabara' to the end if it makes you happy."

"I'm gonna kill you Urameshi!" Kuwabara screamed a war-cry as he launched himself at the prone demon. Yuusuke laughed and rolled off the couch, barely missing being squashed beneath the larger boy. Kurama smoothly leaned forwards to dodge the retaliatory kick aimed in the carrot-tops general direction and locked eyes with the grinning ferry girl.

"Did you have to rile them up? I actually thought that we were going to get a report done without them fighting."

"Well, I didn't want to break tradition."

"Yes," The red-head said a small smile breaking out "Perhaps for the sake of the team we should not break tradition as well."

"Huh?" Botan tilted her head in confusion. "What are you talking about, Kurama?"

The fox smile dropped a bit "Was that not what you were hinting at?"

"I was hinting at something?" The ferry girl asked in confusion as she snatched a lamp out of the way of the fight.

"Yes? Were you not trying to tell us that we should keep the tradition of being called Spirit Detectives?"

"But I like Yuusuke's new name for the team!"

"I _don't_" The crimson-eyed youkai snarled as he lifted his kantana in a threatening manner. "I refuse to be called by such a ridiculous name!"

"Ha! See Kuwabara! Botan agrees! We _should_ be called 'Yuusuke and-" The brunet ducked a rapid-fire fist combo and leapt back out of range of the follow-up kick.

"You finish that sentence and I will kill you!"

"You know I'll just come back to life!"

"Good! Then I can kill you again!"

Kurama sighed and moved to take Yuusuke's vacated spot on the couch. "They do this on purpose, I know it."

Hiei glanced down at the red-head for a second before returning his eyes to the brawl taking place across the room. "No, you just read too much into what they say."

Kurama smiled and leaned back into the worn cushions, his eyes following Hiei's. "Perhaps, but we won't be changing our name anytime soon, now will we?"

"…"

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_Well! That's that. Constructive criticism is always welcomed!_


End file.
